architecture

Eyes caved

so deep…that light doesn’t reach

its dark in there

deprived of sleep

…

permanent craziness

malnourished body

hazy brain

and fixed lips extended

upward

for minutes

…

hairs so soft

of acids deposited

back arched in humbled gesture

to thee of whatever

…

bags lifted forward

to avoid falling backwards

standing in sleep

…

why so much…

torture

to this fragile bearded heart…

smokes flutter

…

I think of death

as it has befriended

me

at the seventeenth year

and so I think of

useless

my mother

…

and then I again get back

to self torture…

my Jesus…asks me

there is no escape…

either you’ll die young

or calmness will prevail

to the eternal…

…

but at least drink

some milk…

or eat some omelet

…

as hungry you ain’t gonna save the world….

dedicated to a late friend…

don’t say i will tell

what is required

don’t say i’ll make an ivory tower

don’t say life is

exactly what is desired

nor say people are good

as political satire

don’t say i’ll live forever

as i dreamt last night

and was dead in real

was talking …may be to my body

look i knew you’ll die

and body said…well nothing new

i also knew am almost expired

and huge headache

triggered

and realized i am still to retire

but now  still to decide

how to live…as i am never for forever

this confusion

of my habits…and god knows what else

i worry

still hoping…which is hopeless

that god is there

and my mother prays

goodness will not expire

hope i am good

for her prayers to travel

but these ways of life…

is there anything except god

i can conspire…?