younger elder
smiles pass by
and so many casuals
sticking as if not sticking
sticking for temporary purpose
….
the world has always been like that
and so was myself
delusional
sticking to ideals
and they smile…as they are someways
elder
they know…they teach
create and paid for being responsible
….
and me younger
always younger
…
either you talk more to be…
elder
or you talk more of your business to be younger
elder…
mumble
saying….
to audience
some commented, expressed
others chose silence
….
progressive…
the sayings aspired to exceed
the limits I’ve gained
to gain the worthy audience
….
still
they escape, they always do…
as immediately I lose
what i gain….
….
growth
some things changed….
misread
there is a situation, as always
and reading
now, what you read
lets say, there is a situation with exactness
and a noun
but verb of it…is fluid
so how you know you read
and not misread…
and what you learnt…
so
did i misread
wondered whole day…
what did he read
of the obsoleteness of verb
in the process…which looked finished
on the final sheet….
today is (was) result of so many days
spent in investigation
but today i summed up what i read(misread)
hehe
now whatever way…future will turn up
whatever he saw in summation
did he read or misread…
biology
how would you explain
some things happening with
head, belly and heart combined
head hurts as you just fell down
heart aches as the days are losing
and people near you, are not people you keep
as they are to be freed from your bound
and people you desire, require
more than what you are on ground
they are god believers
they believe in gravity
so apple must go up bound
belly is reasonable
as there is no food in it
it must run the silly brain
and heart drowned
combined they disorient you
with the cohesive action
children alive in your womb
and then there are more
some listen and some see
feelings…if more than touching
heart is already drowned
huh…i am already raising a family
though this dumb family decides
what must be the radii
of the path…life gonna turn around…
middle
I am learning to
start from middle
where things catch up speed
holding edges so tight
the middle grows unseed…
back n gone
straight talks
refining
refining to make the point
skipping the bumps
aiming whatever
making elevation
of the plans
refining the straight plans
but this comes in medium
why i always talk straight
and don’t do crooked talk
when you look a region
being inside
when you look a region
being in space around
when you look the region being inside
after being in the space around, outside
when you talk straight
and when you talk crooked
when you mumble
when you write poetry
when you unsay with need to say
when you write all along
sleepless nights
when you help
with yourself on line
when you love abundant
being penniless in love account
when you let go
and then bring again the same
gone
when you talk about “when’s” and “why’s”
speculating and straightening the universal questioning sound
when you share
in dumbest medium
when you tilt
just to tilt…with first wall you sketched
in your plans
when you make your work
unreadable and more undoable
to transgress…the knowings you gained
when i see my ruthless elders, teachers
and me being taller each day
gone
and when this when…stops being future
and becomes present
this will go on
this must go on
when something happens
something intact, pure
true and beautiful
its you…obviously you…
lingering in painful state for almost forever
but…
thank them too…who just lingered around
its dramatic
beauty takes unusual means…of pains
to know…it takes forever….of individuals
civilizations
to create beauty of permanence…
silent scream…
ok!
how you resolve words
how you resolve the words
you’ll use in crude expression
how will you edit
what you must scream
how you’ll hold
and go for aftermath
what lies in editing
what lies in hiding
what lies in politics
what lies in polishing
what lies in refining
when you look in those eyes
submissive eyes
why you turned around
and gave the same cornered eyes
to someone else around
what lies in photo finish
of the reality around
what lies in loving each time truely
and being rational
what lies in your behind
and the present you present
what lies when you are taller
and you look down
just going round and round
its not a judgement
it sounds nice…round
now since i don’t have answers
must use metaphors
sun, rivers, life, damn
why i can not say
will never say
the utmost, most crude
immediate thought
please remove my teeth
god!
all pink
remember when you were in…umm
lots of things
lets say…long hairs, glasses
being shy, books, soft shoes
being thin, boyish, tom cruise
bike stunts
and love
…
i try hard to remember
such things…
but all i remember is a thin boy
who was in love…
rest nothing fell in place
so i did something
slept when i was older
and went back…and now
…
i am everything…long haired
thin and cute…and a gal
hovering around me
blessed and shocked
and far, there is a teacher…nice teacher
looking at us…sharing the benches
something fishy…as we kissed
what you doing there?
…
and me dumb ass, cute one though
no sir, i am a book worm
i don’t do wrong
and here comes the brave gal
so what? what you wanna say
did we kiss?
and teacher shooed away….
and then, roads of delhi
markets of bhiwani
gardens of school
all were pink
yuck!
and unhygienic
bubble-gum love
…
and then it blew and blew
phat! all on face
and i woke up
saw the time
it took only few minutes of…
my own movie screening…
fabric
fridge toppled bang!
hands covering ears
eyes widened
but nothing happened
just fabric shuffled and back in position
like water in a pot
not even spilled
…
and fridge toppled
hearts never broken
injuries were vapours
nations never captured
people never gone
just fabric shuffled
it was dream
what a dream!
…
that, there was a cover all over
above the realscape
and all of us sitting in space
watching ourselves
seeing how just fabric shuffled
and every time something happens
scurried buzz, eyes open
oh! we are above realscape
no pain occurred
…
in dream, i realized it was a dream
but what a dream…
already started missing that pain
i missed…as it compared only fabric shuffle
and now i am awake
seeing, what if, it was happening
all we see is…far off
someone wept….
oh it was terrible
but isn’t it
common phenomenon
and so we carried on…
as more and more we are seeing these days
every thing is just a temporary contour
in that homogenous cover on realscape
architecture
Eyes caved
so deep…that light doesn’t reach
its dark in there
deprived of sleep
…
permanent craziness
malnourished body
hazy brain
and fixed lips extended
upward
for minutes
…
hairs so soft
of acids deposited
back arched in humbled gesture
to thee of whatever
…
bags lifted forward
to avoid falling backwards
standing in sleep
…
why so much…
torture
to this fragile bearded heart…
smokes flutter
…
I think of death
as it has befriended
me
at the seventeenth year
and so I think of
useless
my mother
…
and then I again get back
to self torture…
my Jesus…asks me
there is no escape…
either you’ll die young
or calmness will prevail
to the eternal…
…
but at least drink
some milk…
or eat some omelet
…
as hungry you ain’t gonna save the world….
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